touch

the little things: taking the boyfriend's truck

pushing a button and waiting while the seat scoops me into perfect driving place.


the music!!
I love listening to the last CD Rich has listened to. He has great taste and is always showing me new artists. Hearing my favorites all together on one disk. extra awesome.



how it drives our road.
 the driveway is a monster, in my small car the approach is: slow and precise tire placement.

two words:
cup holders
  yeah that driveway I mentioned, imagine that with a five speed and two lattes...messy.

Say say say....

Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson

Oh blogger....long time no post eh? Recap time!!

It was the Love's birthday so I went shopping for him. Is it me or are guys INCREDIBLY hard to shop for!? I had some really great plans and each one went down the drain either work, no babysitter, or he got himself the present...it was very frustrating but I think he was happy with what he got in the end...

 We camped out at the river. This was an amazing day. My boyfriend is tribal so there is a big (and I mean BIG) reunion at a very nice piece      of land by the local river. It was a hot day, almost uncomfortable... we had breakfast outside and couldn't take the heat. I am always a little worried about the reunion, I am not too familiar with everyone down there and he likes to spend his time on the horse shoe pit leaving me to either awkwardly sit on the side lines or mingle... This year was different though. I floated around the river with some really amazing ladies, they all made me feel so welcome and relaxed. We laughed a lot, drank a little and got tans. I tend to over think situations, how I should carry myself, what I should or shouldn't disclose... to the point that I even talk myself out of going to things. This is something I know I need to work on. Days like the river day help me know that I shouldn't worry.

Work has been a bit crazy, we are down at least two people and have more events than usual. I am very lucky to have my closest friends as co workers. Without them I would probably be in the unemployment line trying to explain that cussing out guests was defiantly necessary and in no way grounds for firing. Haha...

This weekend was a tiring one!!

  We have about five acres of land around the house. By five acres I mean five acres of blackberry bush and six foot tall grass. We recently got a deal on a lawn mower and weed eater, this weekend being the one to test them out. SEVEN HOURS LATER our yard looks manageable, I can drive my low Honda around our driveway without hearing the scrapes of weeds under my car. The neighbors might hate us a little less now too... we have a lot more work to do but I can't stop looking out of the window at our beautiful progress.

 After a long hot shower I took the little to a park with my friend and her daughter. Now I am not the girl you will see at a gym...ever. I stick to my yoga sessions and mini walks, so after all the pushing and pulling of the mower and lugging around a 10 pound whacker... I get a little sore. I couldn't even lift the little onto a swing!!! We swung, we ran... I sat. It was fun, but again.... tiring.

Today was spent at my mothers, chatting outside in the heat. Did a little shopping and came home.

That leads me to now... on my deck sun setting behind the screen and the sounds of cartoons coming from an open window.

Sometimes I forget how awesome I have it. I start to look at others, their lives their plans and lose sight of what I have. A wonderful partner with a polite, funny, little one at his side, looking identical. A little puppy (currently in a ball under a coat on my lap) and a wonderful house to call home. Today though, I recognize these things, and give my thanks for them.

The song was on a CD Rich burnt, the whole CD is great but this one I just could not listen to enough today.

Can you relate? Worried about big groups of new people? Working hard for instant gratification? Forgetting what you really have to be happy about?

Triggers

Went to visit my Mom in Salem today, stopped at a red light watching traffic pass I start to cry.

 I have never been good at controlling my emotions, especially tears. Though I thought I had grieved enough in the past year to control them for one person.

 It was a pale green Honda accord, a car that felt like a bullet to the heart. Just a car. A  damn machine.

I got to know everyone in our high school and their rig, the white Jeep Cherokee belonged to the cute football player. The nice Acura to a friends boyfriend. A adorable Dodge Neon to my best friend. A pale green Honda to the very attractive athlete, a friend to everyone, the caring sophomore, Shawn.

 A little over a year ago we lost Shawn, and to this day I still can't grasp why. I swear I saw him walking around my town for months after, he would appear in my dreams, and often was on my mind. Time passes and we slowly heal....I can think of Shawn with a smile, I no longer see him walking down the street or aisles away at the market.

 However no matter how hard I try, when I see a pale green Honda Accord I cant help but stare, look at the driver... and forget, for just a second, that there is no way he is in that car. It breaks my heart every time I look, hopeful, only to see a Hispanic man or a 16 year old girl behind the wheel.

I miss you friend, and will never forget the time we spent together,the smile that broke many hearts, your skills on EVERY field or... as silly as it sounds the car you drove in High school.


What triggers you? Is it a smell? A town? A band? What feelings do you have? Happiness? Regret? Hate? Or in my case sorrow....

Jamie T

Love it? Hate it? I thought I couldn't stand it...until my boyfriend played it out in the car. Seriously just listen to it like 50 times you'll love it.

West coast

On repeat

Phoenix-If I ever feel better
  Lately, and many times before...
 

Well then...

Finished this today....

Um what?

I liked the Ying and Yang that seemed to happen between Locke{AKA the smoke} and Jack{Jacob}, and of course the happy ending for everyone....

After 6 seasons of (pretty) loyal tuning in, I think I can say I am satisfied with the ending.

Maybe still a tad confused, but happy I finally finished the series. No more numbers, no more escape plans, no more Sayid...

Hope everyone had a good week, mine seemed to fly!! I think it was my early shifts and the extra nice weather. I have plans to be outdoors this weekend and hope for more not-to-skin-damaging-but-still-really-nice-weather to enjoy!

Happy Friday!

Paying it forward.

  Running late (as usual) I found myself standing in front of a vending machine glaring at the recent price change for my routine caffeine addiction via can...damn!
 Glancing back and forth at the two dollar bills in my hand and back at the$2.25 price sticker multiple times didn't help.
 In desperation I ask the closest person for a quarter. A woman, someone I had seen around but never have said more than a 'good morning' to. She says she does gives me a giant grin and pulls out her coin purse. I tell her I will pay her back sometime, as well as thank you thank you thank you!! Happy to have my routine back on track.
 I was feeding the money in the machine in as she said it.
"No no that's not necessary... Next time you get asked, how about you pay it forward? I did." Then just walked away.

I was not expecting that, not really sure what I thought she would say, but her response surprised me enough to make me stop, and think. I don't think it was because it was coming out of her mouth, just that it was being said, and heard, out of the context of a movie, or a training... A random person a normal day a thought provoking interaction.



Paying it forward can be done in more than one way, and sometimes from the least expected places. She made me think, that alone was giving.

Ever happen to you? Did you follow through?
  I could be crazy, and over thinking the whole thing...

I'll keep a quarter in my pocket from here on out. Just in case.

 

Galactic

Willie Nelson?





At Edgefield

I hear there are more surrounding the property, dig it.



Face detail



My Morning Jacket and hurting toes

For optimal experience, click and read.

I feel like we have been going non stop for the past week!
  Our friends got a new place so we spent Friday night exploring their new town in search of the best Margarita. They have a BEAUTIFUL new home, I love the layout and the little details that most modern homes seem to lack. Most of all I am happy for them as a couple, they are deserving of every blessing they get. We haven't seen them for close to a month, and after our visit I instantly felt more in balance. We have some great conversation, both deep and mindless. I walk away from our time together with a sense of inner peace. Weird?

Saturday was a work day for the both of us, and boy was it work! The Job had Howie Mandel, and it was my turn to work the event. I work for the local casino in their marketing department. I get to book the big players for free shows, among other things, my job that night was to check IDs and hand out tickets. Easy enough, it can get complicated quickly though. Howie was a big hit for our players so we ended up with more people than tickets...slight complication. So in a dress and 4" heels I was running though a packed event center placing people in added seats. Oh the faces I got while handing players (who I'm sure drop a good amount of money there) their seat number on a post-it note, priceless. Howie was great! Did you know he was the voice of Gizmo on The Gremlins? Anyway night was tiring and there were a few drinks to be had afterwards.
 The next few days were mellow, one day off, work has been super busy so Monday went pretty quick.
Tuesday though was the point of this post.
I love McMenamins establishments and FINALLY got to visit the Edgefield venue it is an outdoor concert area/ hotel/restaurant/brewery. We went to My Morning Jacket! The whole day the weather looked like it was going to rain, and did. I got off work early and as soon as I stepped outside the clouds had gone and I could feel the sun (if you have ever lived in northwest Oregon you know how rare this is). The drive to Tualatin was long but with good friends and need for sunglasses I didn't mind.
 We had a few Ruby ales, add this to your list of beers to try...simply delicious. The first few songs were hidden by a 6 foot guy with dreads, oh the pain of being 5'2. Eventually we made our way to the money spot. Following the path around the side and then inching our way closer and closer to stage. By the last 7 songs we had a perfect spot, not to crowded with room for me to groove. Hand in the air waving opposite directions of my hips, eyes closed and feeling the music belting out every word. I live for that feeling...
  Anyway....It has been busy,exhausting, but worth every minute lately.

So I leave you with this...
  Do you have friends that bring you inner peace?
How about concerts? Who have you seen? How do you feel, love um? Despise the mass amount of people sometimes becoming very sweaty and out of control?

Love this song. Just saw the music video for the first time.

                                                         

Dad

Dinner for my 22nd birthday  

Top 5 

'Things I admire most about my Dad' 

I get my sense of humor from him.

I mean we are hilarious. When we get together just the two of us for a lunch and some window shopping my cheeks are always sore from the laughing. When you throw my brother in the mix it things only get better. I don't really think anyone else thinks we are as funny as we truly are... but to each their own.

Rooftop Hotel Oregon Mcminnimans
June 2011

He knows everything.

I have learned so many life lessons as well as useless, though very interesting things from Dad. He knows what everything is used for, and how it is made He has some straight forward yet mind provoking views on relationships (and has listened to probably more than he has ever wanted to from this girl)

Dad and Jeremy
June 2011

He loves his Mom.

My Grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year and to keep her in her hometown and comfortable my Dad makes the trek to make sure she is alright. Sometimes he only has one day off, so he will go directly from work and stay the whole day with her making the two hour drive home late at night before a 6am wake up call. He fills her fridge, takes her out on the town, and cleans her house like any good son would do.

He cares.

Oh gosh does this man care. Not necessarily about everything... like the poor little puppies, or my point in his need to adopt one...but his family. Our family is very blended, and as I look to my half brothers as brothers my Dad looks at them like sons. He has treated my half brother Jeremy, my Mothers ex-husband's son, as if he was there since his birth. Starting my own blended family has shown me how difficult this could be.

His faith in me.

Dinner November 2010

I have taken my Dad through the ringer. Not that I got in a lot of trouble or anything, just that he worried, yet still trusted my decisions growing up. I know he might regret the way my first 18 years went but I feel it has made me ahead of the game in some areas of life. Going through big changes he was there to take me to dinner, living alone on a shoestring budget made this extra amazing. I after a 12 hour shift at work opened the door to my brand new apartment staged with his old furniture, including the sought after couch. He had filled up a u haul and gave me everything I needed!! 

I could go on and on about my Dad. I hope that I can find someone as amazing to my children as he was to all (four!) of us, or hold on to the one that is.

TV on the radio

Ever feel this way? So close yet so far...

   Side note: will be seeing them in July for the Love's birthday

Mad Hatter

Dig it

Dirty Laundry

This is the upcoming cover of the July 2011 issue of Playboy magazine. The reasoning to the big red sticker covering the lovely lady's parts is that said lady (Crystal Harris) was scheduled to marry the Playboy founder Hugh Hefner June 25th of this year. Crystal called off the wedding shortly before, many saying that it was because she had just dropped her new single blah blah blah... So Hef or possibly his staff, decided to call her out by placing a sticker over her goodies.
 I am a huge Hefner fan, so while I find her deserving of the mocking it makes me think about many of my friends, and their facebook.
I joined the network about a year ago. Late bloomer? I love being able to keep up with my family who live out of town as well as old friends I otherwise would not know how to contact. There have been many times though, that I have been tempted to just leave the whole thing. I can not stand when people post about their personal issues with their husbands.... ex husbands new girlfriends.... so called 'friends'. Why not just turn to the person sitting next to you, let them know how you feel and not the rest of your hundred and forty two 'friends' from the Internet?

Pants

The little Nugget. He loves being out on the porch, it was about 87 this day and the first time he has had to use his tongue to cool himself off. Easily my favorite picture....so far.

Side note. I'm perfectly secure in my puppy obsession.

Wisdom teeth suck.

I just tossed my cookies because of my stupid antibiotic. I'm still in pain and afraid to eat,lay on my side,take any medicine...breathe. The pain of having the damn things was less than this. UGH.

Nugget

Dozer

  About a month ago we adopted this tiny four legged bundle of joy. I was in dire need of a companion of the canine kind, when the opportunity presented itself.

  Love and I drew up out pros and cons of adding a member to the family, the decision was sure in my mind knowing the responsibility and work my choice would bring. Love was hesitant but he knew how happy it would make me so eventually he agreed.

 The night before we would pick up puppy we discussed the sudden feeling of nervousness and 'what are we thinking!?!' . Work seemed to drag on, my boss knowing the excitement my after work plans let me off a little early. As soon as I saw him the last feeling I had was regret. He was shy, cuddled up in my coat, sleeping until I reached the top of my driveway. I was impressed with how well little man listened with my puppy prepping instructions, he was quiet and in awe when I walked through the door. We could tell I had just brought home his new best friend.

  The day of his arrival puppy slept... and slept... names were running through out head ( we imagined seeing him and knowing instantly what to call him) I checked my list of pet names but none of them seemed to fit. Still sleeping... sleepy? No... Dozer... I rambled it off... Loved liked it! So it stuck. Little man had trouble with it at first wanting to call him names of his friends at school.

Little Dozer is now about 9 weeks old. He still sleeps for hours at a time, but has more bursts of energy. How grateful I am to have decided on the taking in our little boy.

So tell me... any puppy training tips? Knowledge of his breed (Dachshund)? I would love to hear it!

So it begins...

I recently celebrated my 24th birthday and being the wonderful boyfriend he is, Love got me a new laptop! As I unpack the new HP in all its golden glory my mind filled with the limitless editing, blogging, Internet interaction I was soon to be enjoying. I looked over at the man who has rekindled my school girl giddiness and warn him of the repercussions this piece of technology would be sure to have. He seems to understand that I will be 'geeking out' for the next few days... weeks... whatever this turns into.

I hope to awaken my creative side that I have seemed to neglect for the past few years. I have a love/hate relationship with writing and a devotion to any camera I touch. I love to create art, clothing, etc. and think my displeasure in clutter keeps me away from my passion of jewelery making. So in attempt to keep my sanity through creation I joined Blogger. I have a Tumblr and love it! It feels like that is just for reblogging though, I have so much to say, and don't feel like Tumblr is the place for it.

New things are new! Ha and I am very excited to see what this blog, this outlet will bring to me. I would love input but please no negativity this is for me and those who enjoy the things I do. I would love to get to know anyone who is getting to know me on here.