Say say say....

Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson

Oh blogger....long time no post eh? Recap time!!

It was the Love's birthday so I went shopping for him. Is it me or are guys INCREDIBLY hard to shop for!? I had some really great plans and each one went down the drain either work, no babysitter, or he got himself the present...it was very frustrating but I think he was happy with what he got in the end...

 We camped out at the river. This was an amazing day. My boyfriend is tribal so there is a big (and I mean BIG) reunion at a very nice piece      of land by the local river. It was a hot day, almost uncomfortable... we had breakfast outside and couldn't take the heat. I am always a little worried about the reunion, I am not too familiar with everyone down there and he likes to spend his time on the horse shoe pit leaving me to either awkwardly sit on the side lines or mingle... This year was different though. I floated around the river with some really amazing ladies, they all made me feel so welcome and relaxed. We laughed a lot, drank a little and got tans. I tend to over think situations, how I should carry myself, what I should or shouldn't disclose... to the point that I even talk myself out of going to things. This is something I know I need to work on. Days like the river day help me know that I shouldn't worry.

Work has been a bit crazy, we are down at least two people and have more events than usual. I am very lucky to have my closest friends as co workers. Without them I would probably be in the unemployment line trying to explain that cussing out guests was defiantly necessary and in no way grounds for firing. Haha...

This weekend was a tiring one!!

  We have about five acres of land around the house. By five acres I mean five acres of blackberry bush and six foot tall grass. We recently got a deal on a lawn mower and weed eater, this weekend being the one to test them out. SEVEN HOURS LATER our yard looks manageable, I can drive my low Honda around our driveway without hearing the scrapes of weeds under my car. The neighbors might hate us a little less now too... we have a lot more work to do but I can't stop looking out of the window at our beautiful progress.

 After a long hot shower I took the little to a park with my friend and her daughter. Now I am not the girl you will see at a gym...ever. I stick to my yoga sessions and mini walks, so after all the pushing and pulling of the mower and lugging around a 10 pound whacker... I get a little sore. I couldn't even lift the little onto a swing!!! We swung, we ran... I sat. It was fun, but again.... tiring.

Today was spent at my mothers, chatting outside in the heat. Did a little shopping and came home.

That leads me to now... on my deck sun setting behind the screen and the sounds of cartoons coming from an open window.

Sometimes I forget how awesome I have it. I start to look at others, their lives their plans and lose sight of what I have. A wonderful partner with a polite, funny, little one at his side, looking identical. A little puppy (currently in a ball under a coat on my lap) and a wonderful house to call home. Today though, I recognize these things, and give my thanks for them.

The song was on a CD Rich burnt, the whole CD is great but this one I just could not listen to enough today.

Can you relate? Worried about big groups of new people? Working hard for instant gratification? Forgetting what you really have to be happy about?

Triggers

Went to visit my Mom in Salem today, stopped at a red light watching traffic pass I start to cry.

 I have never been good at controlling my emotions, especially tears. Though I thought I had grieved enough in the past year to control them for one person.

 It was a pale green Honda accord, a car that felt like a bullet to the heart. Just a car. A  damn machine.

I got to know everyone in our high school and their rig, the white Jeep Cherokee belonged to the cute football player. The nice Acura to a friends boyfriend. A adorable Dodge Neon to my best friend. A pale green Honda to the very attractive athlete, a friend to everyone, the caring sophomore, Shawn.

 A little over a year ago we lost Shawn, and to this day I still can't grasp why. I swear I saw him walking around my town for months after, he would appear in my dreams, and often was on my mind. Time passes and we slowly heal....I can think of Shawn with a smile, I no longer see him walking down the street or aisles away at the market.

 However no matter how hard I try, when I see a pale green Honda Accord I cant help but stare, look at the driver... and forget, for just a second, that there is no way he is in that car. It breaks my heart every time I look, hopeful, only to see a Hispanic man or a 16 year old girl behind the wheel.

I miss you friend, and will never forget the time we spent together,the smile that broke many hearts, your skills on EVERY field or... as silly as it sounds the car you drove in High school.


What triggers you? Is it a smell? A town? A band? What feelings do you have? Happiness? Regret? Hate? Or in my case sorrow....

Jamie T

Love it? Hate it? I thought I couldn't stand it...until my boyfriend played it out in the car. Seriously just listen to it like 50 times you'll love it.

West coast

On repeat

Phoenix-If I ever feel better
  Lately, and many times before...
 

Well then...

Finished this today....

Um what?

I liked the Ying and Yang that seemed to happen between Locke{AKA the smoke} and Jack{Jacob}, and of course the happy ending for everyone....

After 6 seasons of (pretty) loyal tuning in, I think I can say I am satisfied with the ending.

Maybe still a tad confused, but happy I finally finished the series. No more numbers, no more escape plans, no more Sayid...

Hope everyone had a good week, mine seemed to fly!! I think it was my early shifts and the extra nice weather. I have plans to be outdoors this weekend and hope for more not-to-skin-damaging-but-still-really-nice-weather to enjoy!

Happy Friday!

Paying it forward.

  Running late (as usual) I found myself standing in front of a vending machine glaring at the recent price change for my routine caffeine addiction via can...damn!
 Glancing back and forth at the two dollar bills in my hand and back at the$2.25 price sticker multiple times didn't help.
 In desperation I ask the closest person for a quarter. A woman, someone I had seen around but never have said more than a 'good morning' to. She says she does gives me a giant grin and pulls out her coin purse. I tell her I will pay her back sometime, as well as thank you thank you thank you!! Happy to have my routine back on track.
 I was feeding the money in the machine in as she said it.
"No no that's not necessary... Next time you get asked, how about you pay it forward? I did." Then just walked away.

I was not expecting that, not really sure what I thought she would say, but her response surprised me enough to make me stop, and think. I don't think it was because it was coming out of her mouth, just that it was being said, and heard, out of the context of a movie, or a training... A random person a normal day a thought provoking interaction.



Paying it forward can be done in more than one way, and sometimes from the least expected places. She made me think, that alone was giving.

Ever happen to you? Did you follow through?
  I could be crazy, and over thinking the whole thing...

I'll keep a quarter in my pocket from here on out. Just in case.

 

Galactic